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Stephen Colbert Brands Roy Moore ‘the Mall Rat Candidate’

Stephen Colbert went to town on Roy Moore on Tuesday night’s Late Show – as the Alabama U.S. Senate candidate remains defiant in the face of sexual misconduct allegations and growing pressure to drop out.

Colbert branded Moore, 70, the “mall rat” candidate and focused on new reports that Moore was banned from a local mall when he was in his 30s because he allegedly tried to pickup teenage girls there.

Colbert flashed a picture of Moore with his arm outstretched and quipped that Moore was “demonstrating how tall you must be to date him.” After an uproar of laughter from the crowd, Colbert added, “if you liked that one, this is going to be a long four minutes!”

He then proceeded to launch into a string of gags at Moore’s expense. “In the ’80s, when he was a local assistant district attorney, Moore was banned from an Alabama shopping mall for bothering teenage girls. The only place in the mall the girls were safe was Forever 21, because that is way too old for Roy Moore,” said Colbert.

He went on: “One Alabama resident recalls, ‘It seemed like every Friday or Saturday night you’d see him walking around the mall, like the kids did.’ Well, he wasn’t walking around exactly like the kids did — because he wasn’t looking over his shoulder for Roy Moore.”

In response to allegations that Moore had asked out a 16 year old girl who had dressed up as Santa’s helper, Colbert said: “He hit on one of Santa’s elves? Well, a true evangelical — he’s putting the ‘Christ!’ back in Christmas.”

Billy Perrigo
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